It's been a while coming...

But now i feel i need to rant about racism. Racist, ignorant, bitch, douchebag... for me, they can generally all be classified together. If you don't want to read an honest, pro-refugee, anti-Aussie Pride rant i suggest you close this now. if this makes you feel less of me, no dramas... i daresay i already do of you.

I can understand if a 'fear' of what is different can affect people but not recognising human rights and the kinds of things that everyone should be allowed to enjoy is downright deplorable. Due to this difference factor, not every race is being forced to deal with racism. Europeans, Americans... they are like us. There's nothing wrong with them. but when it comes to Africans and Asians... you may as well be trying to walk down Cronulla beach with the cast of Fat Pizza.

I wish more people would understand how wrong their stances are. not so much even in terms of compassion and empathy, because not everyone can feel this. but just with their purported facts and brainwashed minds. Studying social work this semester gave me the opportunity to look at many facets of refugee life that i would have never known and see and read things that i wish i didn't. ignorance is not bliss. but sometimes knowledge isn't either.

Media construes work in such a way to assist governmental parties and inject fear into the Australian people. Tony Abbot wants to keep the boats out?? a total of 2% of our annual refugee intake per year. couldn't that money be better spent elsewhere? people get on boats out of desperation. i get queasy when it gets rough on Sydney harbour and, one of the few times i have ever wished i could die was on a boat in the Mediterranean. i would not wish it upon many enemies to have to take a small boat for weeks on end in. but these people have reached their last tether. they have no choice. apparently a better life awaits them and their families. in terms of queue jumping... there are no queues. when will people realise this? it is about luck, not waiting in line. and, from what i witness trying to get on to buses and trains, no Australians are too keen to wait in a queue either!! perhaps they are embracing our way of life and assimilating to our practices!!

Ban the Burqa seems to be rife on facebook which, although i probably would rather read about this than something about nan and the c-word, really promotes some of my friends as a bunch of racist elitists. aussie pride can easily become nationalism and maybe one day neo-nazism... and that is really scary. These people seem to cite that it is our culture so they need to assimilate...their religion is not welcome... well excuse me but i might just take a look and...yep!! Australia does not have an official religion!! we are welcoming to all religions and people are not allowed to be lambasted due to their beliefs. In fact people can walk around in whatever get-up they desire and have a right to be able to strut it. and why should't they? what if they commit crimes with their faces covered up? Have you tried to run away from a crime scene in a burqa? it looks pretty flipping difficult.

our nation was created on immigration. the first boat people, the First Fleet, came here because of over-crowding. Now, people are coming to Australia because of war and famine. It is within anyone's right to take refuge in another country when they feel they are in danger. Just because we cannot empathise as much as possible due to our luck of being born and raised here, it is no need to say that no one else should enjoy the splendours that Australia has to offer. I hope you have been watching Go Back To Where You Came From and seen how badly some of the people on it have been portrayed.. no, not the refugees, but the Australians. if that is what you want to look like maybe we should put you all in a closed community somewhere in the South Australian desert...

it's disjointed and badly put together but okay i'm done.

this time i might be able to maybe do it.

I thought i had perhaps shaken the bigger nights. the ones which i would love to forget the next day but rather seem to remember them even clearer and then am on a mission sending thank you slash apology texts. What is more, i cannot even give myself an opportunity to land on damnyouautocorrect.com and provide some laughs because my sloshed sentencing is still second to none.

One thing it does mean though is the next day i feel like death. this isn't so cool. and maybe drinking dishwashing liquid isn't so cool either. But it does always put me in the frame of mind that something different needs to be done. i need to have something here in my life which will mean that i won't be able to spend so much coin and waste so much of the following day in recovery mode. Prowling smh.com today i found something which may be able to answer the question. The City to Surf (it seems the word "to" has been replaced by the number 2 in the official documents, but i think i will just be sticking to the more traditional spelling). Let's be honest. If i plan to (finally) take part i will need to train, look after myself and make sure i am adequately prepared mentally, physically and emotionally. What is someting more of an omen is that the recommended training schedules begin ...today! I like omens.
This seems to tick a lot of boxes. I will be doing lots of training, keeping myself busy (which i adore) and working towards a goal. Only problem is all my other lost pursuits hanging about in my room as a constant reminder. My piano, gathering dust despite my continued love, my song lyrics and book chapters littered through journals and exercise books, the motivational interior decorating poster which was meant to be complete for the start of 2011 and the numerous cricket equipment and clothing reminding me i will never ever play for Australia. what will make this one different? motivation? unlikely. Use of whips? Perhaps. who knows. but maybe this will be the time i break free from the shackles and finish something that i start.

The training is appealing to me because just once in my life i want to have a hot body. I have discovered that boys only seem to join gyms and worry about their bodies once they break up with partners. obviously they get comfortable and let themselves go. so if i ever get a girlfriend, the post break up stage will just be used to lose the excess weight that getting cozy has allowed me to gain. so this is my best and possibly last chance to become a real narcissist and see what impact this has on the rest of my life. As well as this, sunday training will mean destroyed on a saturday is not an option.

What's more, this has always been on my list of "To do's" and it can only be a good feeling to knock one of them off. I have heard of the fabled runner's high and if it is anything like the high of a Xavier Rudd concert it will be enough to keep me going. Stay tuned, i will let you know when this idea fizzles out.

Just lately...

I have come to realise that some of my gross motor skills that i feel i should have perfected over the twenty-one years of my existence are providing some difficulty. Why, just then, i tried to drink from a cup only to have splashes of water fall on to my face and lovely shirt. Walking around yesterday i had trouble keeping my feet on the path. These things should not be the kind of things i think about at this stage of my life. No wonder, i can't drive, it seems i can barely stand up.

This has been my busiest couple of weeks in a while. Uni got to full on and work was just irritating. I feel a lot like George from Seinfeld at the moment and not just bacause of the work ethic. I have been given a fairly important job from a boss but have no idea what i am meant to be doing with it...so i just put it on the backburner and we'll see what happens after Easter (according to the bookmakers, John losing his job is 2/1 and shortening!).

It is good to see that Sydney is making an effort to escape Third World conditions in shopping with the opening of Zara today. I have my doubts though over how much of a success it will be (in terms of getting us closer to the better parts of the world). The stock IS overpriced in comparison to other nations and, does anyone else think that 6 months behind in the fashions is not so amazing? I read that Zara said they would try to make their own fashion for Sydney but of course the easy way out of that is just throwing in the stuff that was in London the previous season. the hype and hooplah that seems to be following it has me worried as well. The Zara brand will soon become a staple of the cashed up bogan (perhaps replacing Ed Hardy) due to its location and word of mouth. You will go out on a weekend in your new Zara clothes and see a dozen other people sporting the same outfit, with a smug look of apparel superiority. As well as this, there is a missing link in terms of competition to keep Zara honest and to promote a healthy market. I hope Sfera are taking note of the fuss and plan a store next. Even H&M would make a steady keep while providing an alternative. This is not my wish for Zara as i write this wearing a pair of their jeans which i adore (wax finish - choice!) and i suppose i am looking at this from a worst case scenario... surely not the markings of a 5 time optimist.

I'm breaking up with her

We have had a lot of good times. Although due to work it was mainly a weekend thing. Maybe this was for the best. Weekends together always lead to crazy fun and silly decisions. Regrets the next morning and painful goodbyes. I didn't ever think i would have to break it off. why should something good come to an end? But not only did she simply cost me too much money. I found myself going out of my way to appease her, wrecking and tiring myself out when we were together at nights, meaning that i could not do anything the following day. Sweet lady liquor, for now, it is over.

I had been thinking about it for a while without seriously doing anything about it but i had a dream the other night about a tooth falling out. A big tooth as well and it hurt like crazy. For anyone out there interested in dream interpretations, you may know that this means that change is coming. For me, i hope it to be a pretty large change in work ethic, health and performance. For too long my weekends consisted of me doing everything except opening my school books. Writing more drunken texts than i did essays and reading more about bottle cap trivia than Australian Economics. There will be some exceptions... ANZAC Day depends on me  having a few, as does a couple of birthdays... but these will be few and far between (until Hawaii!).

Weekends during the day were put aside for recovery. This consisted of staying in bed for as long as possible. Then moving to the lounge and finally to the floor (my favourite). The lack of exercise (which was only ever drunken leapfrog) meant that for the last three times i have been to the gym they have had a body bag ready for me - just in case.

Cash is becoming an issue. Hawaii is fast approaching and my debt has been rising like the Aussie dollar. if i want to make the most of it, i need to save my dollars! I have $15 left of my winnings from the races last week. And i won quite a lot! Time to repair some debt and save for another amazing adventure.

Uni has been good to me so far this semester. I am having a bit of fun, making some friends, lazing about... everything except studying. I badly want to finish and move to London... but now realise to do this requires some effort at my end. Eeep!

It looks like study will be my replacement to fun. Will need to go all Mary Poppins on this thing and turn it into a game and make it fun. I wish i could just snap my fingers and have all my assessments done!

I hope i surprise everyone (and myself!) with my will power!

Girls Who Swear

Swearing is not something i generally condone. I will admit, we are all prone to dropping something from time to time when we leave umbrellas at home, realise what we just said or watch the Sharks run in their seventeenth try against the hapless Panthers. But in the end, i think most people should have better things to say.

Females swearing is usually an extreme turn off. you know the type. repellent. uneducated. winnie blues. they string swears together with the ease of Snoop Dogg and generally have the whining, screeching tone of someone trying to play a violin with a cat. they stalk the western lines & other train stations making people uncomfortable and living up to stereotypes and generalisations.

But then you have the anomalies. there is very little in life i love more than an anomaly. it is like a present wrapped in a surprise. the anomalies that i am leading to here are the girls who swear and make it sound F****** attractive. it becomes a turn on. it just sounds so damn good! before i met a girl like this i never used to swear. i was one of those saying "oh darn" or "shoot" or even "goodness me" like a 60 year old golfer. but when someone else made it sound so amazingly attractive and fun what hope did i have? my theory is it has something to do with private girls schools where the mother of Alison Ashley, standing in front fo a class gets up and says "repeat after me and please pronunciate - 'shit' ...no no Gloriana Straffle-Horsefeather! You sound like you are from the back of Bourke!"

I am a little worried, with my addiction to falling in love, that i am currently standing little hope against a new serene swearer that has entered my life. this cussy hussey has no clue what she may be getting herself in to.

don't they know people write songs (and blogs!) about girls like these? the ones who make the bad seem good. the ones that rebel, but look, and sound, absolutely gorgeous doing it.

Last night i was blown away by...

Joanna Newsom.

Who? you might ask, in a smug, omniscient way. "well if i haven't heard of her she can't be much good?" you couldn't be more wrong. Yes she is quirky, left of centre and unlike anything you have ever heard before. Thankfully, she was recommended to me by an irresisitble source with whom i hit it off musically & personally. upon doing some research i discovered for myself how talented Joanna Newsom was.

She appeared to traipse on stage. Making an indirect route towards what everyone knew her home would be for the evening's entertainment. She had an odd glow and presence and reminded me a lot of Alice (of in Wonderland fame). In a cute dress and long hair out and low she definitely did not have the appearance of a modern day rock star.

There was an odd hush of expectation as she prepared to start and finally began to attack the harp in a way i have never known before. Precise plucks and perfected pinches created a sound that echoed brilliantly throughout the recital hall and lulled you into a state of bliss and enchantment. despite getting my tickets a little late, i couldn't imagine being in a better position. angle-wise, i was looking through the harp and could see her entire body on the other side. it created a stunning illusion of her being stuck inside the harp and her hands moving manically in an attempt to get out. the way she played would make you believe that inside it was where she belonged.

not only could she play the harp but she pounded the piano numerous times as well just to keep you amazed at what she is capable of. her lyrics are utter genius and her compilations remarkable. i really have not known anyone quite like her in so many ways.

she was sweet and personable to the crowd and her speaking voice differed greatly to what she sounded like when she was singing. one may even say her voice sounded 'normal'. but as soon as the music started her highs got higher and lows, lower. drawling some words and skipping lightly through others. it is hard to describe what she sounds like. how she manages to match her descriptive, symbolic lyrics to the sounds of the harp is the best indication of her talent.

complemented ideally by a team of quirky, intellects. each at the top of their musical game be it on violin, banjo, guitar, drums or trombone it created a mellifluous blend of folk music.

She will never be touted as mainstream and may never get the audiences such brilliance deserves but, if you are interested I think you should give her a chance. She might really hit you.

I recommend... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CprS7irIVCE

Survival

This is my main (read "only") objective for the next 3-4 months. yesterday, for the first time, i had the thought that perhaps i have bitten off more than i could chew. full time uni, almost full time work, social life and sport have been difficult to juggle and i am only into day 2 to be perfectly honest!

my first uni tutorials passed without much fanfare. French was a little bit of fun although i feel i would appreciate it a bit more after a few glasses of Beaujolais red and some fine cheeses. political economy should not be too tough to get through but i think i will have some struggles trying to put up with other people in my tutorials. going off on tangents to what the lecturer is talking about to prove what you know? that don't impress-a me much.

social work has really become the diamond in the rough. we were asked why we were taking the class and  i had to quickly think of a reason apart from "i think it will be a coasty way to raise my average & it fit my timetable". i pretended to not know which building the tute was in because i heard two cute girls talking about being lost looking for it ("are you talking about social work? yeah i don't know where i'm going either!" ... jackpot). not sure why, but i feel as though i am trying to align myself with the 'Mean Girls' of the group - and i think i like it. they did appear to be more than happy to talk amongst themselves and leave me out of it but i will persist (at least once) and if i get super desperate i think i can pretend to be gay to win them over. it won't be too hard, i already wanted to tell one of them how much i liked her super cute shoes. at the moment, anything to win over new friends.

Accounting 1B

Nothing worse than finishing work at 5pm and realising you have to go and learn about accounting for three hours before beginning to head home. this was going to be the test of the mettle. will i be bothered. for week one, i went.

As i entered the room (after a jolty, frustrating, stop-start bus ride up Cleveland Street) i realised that i was, in fact, now an overseas student and the only skip to study. I sat with a clear view of the door to try and find someone "like me" but all to no avail. closest i got was a 19 year old in a suit who looked a complete wanker (my first impressions were later confirmed) & an American looking guy who sat at the other side of the room.

i'm not here to make friends... which is lucky. i wouldn't like my chances.

my hopes of sitting in a corner, silent, for the 2 hours were quickly dashed when i went through the lecture note and saw that she had written a question and then advised that we had to discuss it with a 'neighbour'. the nearest person was about 10 metres away from me and was thankfully, also a loner.

michael was an international student from Hong Kong who asked me if i was Australian (as i was a minority) and seemed a happy enough kind of guy. we discussed the question and then he asked if i was a first year. then he asked if i was doing an honours year. no, neither. i have just had a lot of fun and some amazing experiences. but i automatically did not like him after his queries.

the lecturer seem okay. i understand  bit of what she say but i think english will get worser if i go every lecture. will end up talking like her. short sentences and using incorrect tense.

had flashback from the simpsons when she almost fell down the stairs. she had made an accounting joke about reliability or something five minutes earlier and most people laughed. i stared blankly. then when she tripped i had to use every ounce of self control not to erupt in laughter. i felt like Homer in  Physics 101 ("hahaha he dropped his papers!! did you see that poindexter??!!).

overall, i managed to stay awake. so i think you can call that a successful lecture experience!

Social Work 101

I am not going to pretend. I chose to do this subject because i think it will be super coasty and may lift my average mark for the semester considerably. Despite being very sensitive and, i think, empathetic, social work is not a career path for me. capish?

what i did not expect was it to be a potential goldmine!! when i walked in, about 5 minutes early, i noticed i was the only male in the entire lecture theatre. probably 150 girls... 1 of me. rather then be daunted i decided to walk right down the front, scan the seats to get an idea of who was sitting where & tried to situate myself around the beautiful people.

it is not all good news of course. probably is a 60-40 split of good looking girls to short haired, tattooed, mature age lesbians. they will make class interesting... to give one word for it. am looking forward to hearing their opinions on every matter. NOT!

naturally a few more fellas showed up for the class including, to my horror, a 20-something guy who was the epitomy of effortless cool. i saw him having a cigarette before the lecture and admired his dress sense. so he smoked, had cool style, was good looking, tattoos & looked like he cared about whales and stuff. i may have to play second best in this class. i can't compete with that. i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a baller.

Back to school

After deferring the whole of 2010 to find adventure in the great, wide somewhere part of me really thought that i would never ever go back to university. the thought was i would meet this amazing, fun, runway model we would elope and i would never need to go back to study. i would follow her around to her shows and offer support, love and encouragement. Alas, it was not to be.

After eighteen months i expected radical changes both physically to the buildings and attitude wise from my peers. Also not to be. The bus line up was long with a liquorice all-sorts of races telling stories of bottles of vodka and exaggerated bench presses.

I worked out the cheapest way to get to Asia. You buy a MyTicket2 from a 7/11 and jump on an 891 from Eddy Avenue. Voila!! I never realised i was an overseas student...

I have always had an issue with arrogance from people who had no right to be. it's odd when they don't really seem to have anything going for them. i had (i'm guessing an) engineering student walk past me and have a go at the Marxist trying to recruit some disciples. Uni should be all about smoking joints, late night drinking and standing up for causes (i am an arts student remember) and yet he took a shot at the person promoting an end to homophobia and homelessness. he sounded like such an arrogant wanker. i want to release a few bullies to UNSW to promote more 'real-life' situations and hierarchies. he would surely be a target.

One thing  i love to do at uni is just sit around and watch people rushing past, critiquing their style, guessing what course they do & deciding whether they would make an apt girlfriend for me. It is easy to pick the courses. You have the effortlessly cool, chic media and film studies students, the obnoxious arts students wanting to kick on to politics, the engineering students backing up from last night's star trek marathon and the overseas students doing accounting majors...

On point of style, i must say i am generally impressed with half and disgusted with the other half. there is an abundance of super cute dresses and cut off denims, but too many poorly fitted, ugly items too. Ray Bans are everywhere. and i love my wayfarers, i really do. but they don't really suit everyone and change might do the world some good. am looking forward to the circular, John Lennon styles coming back (which seems to be on its way) ... i'm ready.

Uni is not as scary now i am about 3 years older than everyone else in my class and (sort of) know my way around. and hey, it beats being at work 5 days a week. I think i am a little bit older, a little bit wiser and will hopefully be more willing to entertain everything that irritates me throughout the semester.

Oh i'm just going to the gym...

This was a statement i never really expected to find myself saying. Especially after my previous attempt at a relationship with Fitness First which ended in a quickie 3 hour divorce not unlike Britney Spears' Vegas marriage. It was probably the exact same. I was just caught up in a moment after being sweet talked on the street and before i knew what i was agreeing to i had signed a pre-nup and had a ring on my finger... sorry an ugly backpack in my lap. I somehow managed to get myself out of that and was wary about entering any other relationship.

I rushed into another fitness relationship but they really do seem to be the one. Relaxed and understanding, cheap and friendly. it is everything i was after. Plus, the pretentious nature associated with other gyms does not appear to be present because the weights here aren't so heavy. If you want to bench sumo wrestlers or curl baby elephants you are not welcome here.

My progress is stunted. have not been for a week but plan to rectify that tonight... and i have been saying that for a week. it is good to be noticed though and yesterday mum said "it was only a few weeks ago my muscles were bigger than yours." thanks Mum ( i wish it wasn't true).

It seems a good place to pick up because the girls who go there are obviously health conscious and fit (if not, hoping to be fit soon) and all of the other guys seem to be too focused watching themselves flex in the mirrors to notice a girl walk by. problem is though, the girls seem more interested in the guys flexing too!

protein shake please, make it a double.

Looking Good Isn't Important...

It's Everything.

This Ben Sherman quote is one that i do try to live by. At least i thought so. But then there are those early mornings on the train when i don't have the time to have my face washed or my hair done. with my shirt sticking out at the back, tie loosely clinging somewhere between my chin and navel. Clearly, as much as i tell myself that it is the case, it is not a mantra i am able to live by.

i simply use it to justify buying clothes i can't afford and products i don't really need.

one of the biggest fashion faux pas' in my opinion is the fascination that men have with white shoes, particularly at relatively formal events. white shoes and suits simply screech tres bogan and are generally complemented with JD & coke. i don't understand why people feel the need to wear white shoes to the races, weddings, formals etc and break tradition as well as grossly offend anyone who has not accompanied them through this sin. today i was waiting for some lights to change at George St and noticed someone on the other side of the road in a black suit and white shoes. it was like looking directly into the sun. you hate it, it really really hurts, but you can't stop. i had to walk into Hugo Boss and have a quick look around straight after to make myself feel better about the world. luckily, it worked.

with the Autumn Carnival racing coming up i am not looking forward to seeing the trendy guys with their white shoe ensemble so may need to drink copious amounts of alcohol. classy.

oh well it could be worse, before they went under Ed Hardy could have produced suits...

It's been a while coming...

But here we are. I have submitted to the self-indulgent world that is a blog. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against anyone else who takes part in it but, unlike some people i know, i refuse to classify this as freelance writing.

That's something i hope i will get to a bit later in life.

I like to write. I like to write about things i am passionate about and things that irritate me no ends. Pretty girls on my train, why i need a new job, frosty fruits, what is wrong with the world, white shoes with suits, etc. If you choose to stay with me through a range of these things, i hope you enjoy the ride.

Work has not been overly lovely to me of late and one thing that has been helping me get through it is cadbury creme eggs. despite my efforts of a healthier lifestyle i have again fallen into the trap that exists somewhere between a chocolate egg and a creamy centre. i'm trapped. forced to eat my way out of it with each new bite bringing more orgasmic sensations to my tastebuds. it is a battle i allow myself to lose. and a situation i plan to continue to get myself into for as long as the Easter stocks stay in stores. my sweet tooth may create some problems in the future.

Sculpt a super body or get fat with dignity. it's a tough choice.